i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
