If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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