The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
