that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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