tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
