I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
