I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
