i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
