glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
