Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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