Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
