Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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