My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
