If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
