So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
