dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
