Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize