I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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