At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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