this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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