bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
