I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
