Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
