It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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