i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
