I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
