i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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