I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
