Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize