was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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