god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
