True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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