I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize