if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
