I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize