Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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