I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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