i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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