maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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