He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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