Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
