About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
