then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
