Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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