Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
