I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
