things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
