He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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