Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
