I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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