i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
