I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
babies were throwing up all over the place
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
