jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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