Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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