Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
