Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
