She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
