he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
