Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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