You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
