You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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