This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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