dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I've blown a few things in my day
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
