Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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