covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
