So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize