Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
