You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
