Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
