did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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