We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
