you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
