I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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