Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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