it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
